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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lubke's LiveJournal:

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Monday, October 27th, 2014
12:12 am
Rednecks make too much noise
Well it's been fairly emotional week. Canada has had it's first heavily telivised terror attack in my home town. It's definitely made me think about a lot of things, mostly the perseption of Islam, in western society. But first and foremost, rest in peace to the members of the Canadian Armed Forces that were killed, Cpt. Nathan Cirillo and Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent. Their death was so needless.

One thing I hate, is feeling like I'm being coerced. And one thing an act terrorism does is force you into a sudden panic. Suddenly you're more nervous and anxious, mostly because it happened in your home town. Honestly, I can say that when 911 happened, it didn't effect me a much as some of the people around me. I was a kid that cared more the X-Files movie that was suppose to air that night. My simple teenage mind knew it was bad but it was so far off, that couldn't hurt me. And all it did was inconvenience travel for people with muslim last names; which my brother had to experience.

And through it all I thought Canada would be immune to any aggression. We're so peaceful. And now that an attack has happened, I worry about the ignorance that was expressed in the States. The Islamaphobia that swept through the most militerized nation in the world. The unfounded hate for a ground based on faith and geopgraphy. And it worries me no one will think about there being 1.4 billion people that practice Islam. And that the one's on the tv screen are the rednecks of the group. And that they're forced to be come rednecks because they might not want outisde influences to govern their countries. And it worries me that I'm being fed the fear and that I worry about my father's people. ANd how easiy it might be for people to seclude and alienate before they extend a hand try to learn about one another. To make up their mind before saying "hello, how are you?"

I'm not claiming my muslim birth right by any means. But I feel like things might be different. Just heard a story about people vandalizing a mosk and the town coming to their side and cleaning up. It's too bad that the desperate and ignorant make so much noise. But myabe be a good way to start might be this. Best way to get to know a redneck, buy him a beer, shoot the shit. Not saying that everyone needs to have a drink, but as long as we're talking regardless of our differences, we might just move past all of this.

I'm sure I'll have plenty of pleasentries and distractions this week but I just really had to get that off my chest. Halloween is my favorite, Krista is the best and I seriouly need to do more yoga.

Ps loving Logic's New Ablum: Under Pressure

Sunday, September 28th, 2014
10:39 pm
Work and Bewbs
Welll I’m a few hours a way from taking over my first in house team at work. Expectations: I hope I don’t suck and that I can sleep at night. I pope I can keep the hours reasonable because spending time with Krista has been all that and a bag of chips.  More on that later. This project has gone on longer than expected but I’m liking all the creative problem solving I get to do every day. I’m feeling a lot of emotions I don’t get to experience all the time and isn’t that the best part of life. Speaking of which.

Krista is pretty dope. Like super wicked. She definitely likes hiking which is growing on me, but only when it’s kind of sketchy and adventurous. We went on a righteous hike last week which took us across a wicked colorful valleys, fast rapids, rock slides and frigid cold glacial lakes. Honestly, you learn to trust someone when you’re scaling down a mountain trying to keep up with the sunset in bear country. Highlight was finding our cabin in the woods where we would escape during a zombie apocalypse.  It was right by the lake where I would learn to fish, cut trees and do other manly stuff that doesn’t include growing my chest hair. It will take time to adjust to swimming in those lakes. If you want to experience death, go there. You’ll love it. Sexy tip for hikes: let your girl lead the hike, awesome views. :)

I bought my ticket for Mark and Dinora’s which I'm bringing Krista to. I feel bad for our neighbors....SO AMPED! And hopefully diving with a new licence. And Finally an epic moment in my bro's life :) I really hope Dinora doesn't set me on fire. So much to do in prep. So many raps to try out ;)

Well I the next few weeks will be all over the place and probably buried in work and glorious boobs. She really makes me feel lucky, Krista not work. Though I'm lucky to be in this position at work so I guess it goes both ways.
Monday, June 30th, 2014
12:11 am
One day i'll be a pro ninja
 Imagine being buried, under hours upon hours of creativity. Overseeing potential dreams from far, hoping to make the cut. It's been something that I've wanted and a mantle I hope to honor. But with the appointment of supervisor comes the glorious burden.

And then something wonderful happens. It makes the long days melt away. And even though you might meet in the twilight hours, the elation would make a summers day blush. The rain drops on your way home, a gentle kiss. And the street lights a loving guide to your front step.

Curious enough to spot three rainbows, laughs for two and one hell of a reason to want to skip some bases. If self restraint could be compared to kidney stones, I would be wise to not indulge. And yet this urge to be close and know about this galaxy of quirks and tenderness. And be inspired by the lines of awkwardness and moments of peace. Until it all deadlines and schedules melt away. And there's nothing left but him and her. A smile and a realization that this bed feel a lil empty:P

Current Mood: happy
Thursday, June 19th, 2014
11:04 pm
Before everything gets rushed
I shall take a moment to write something before everything gets crazy. Added responsibilities at work cuz of my promotion  has really left me with little energy to smell the roses. But i did find some flowers on my way to work the other day. Which just makes everything better. There's a lot of information that's been thrown at me from friends back home. The best way to describe is that life can have some serious  things happen and you never wanna have them happen to the ones you love. But there's not much you can do about it. But you want hear them out and hug the shit out of them.

It's so hard to remember how it was to be a new animator so i need to learn to be more empathetic. Find the fine like between showing them what to do and having them do it for themselves. If there's such a thing as doing too much, i'm happy I'm at least taking a moment for this. Hence the reason i'm keeping it short cuz i'm just going to lay down and let my mind wonder. I hope not to plan ahead too much when i visit ottawa. Here's hoping for the best..

Looking in someone's eyes can be awesome. The universe is awesome when things aren't rushed.
Monday, April 28th, 2014
12:54 am
Ball so hard, I got blisters on my ass (legit)
  It’s time for a brief moment of silence because all the voices are going to get really loud soon. So it’s time to file some mental taxes before I pass the deadline and miss out on everything. Even as I type this, a billion unattended tasks are flooding my brain and washing away my attention span.

MY move to Kitsalano has definitely been a game changer. Being 15 to 20 mins from everything and everyone has brought a smile to my face. I had moment whil looking over 4th ave after yoga where the street reminded of howI pictured Canada as a kid. Dare I say that I’m living the dream? I can see it being a mixed blessing aswell because it will be difficult to say no to a lot of things. I wish I could say no to the sun that pours through my massive windows every morning, but you can’t win every battle. Things will definitely pop off as the weather get nicer and I hope it leads to bbq and get togethers and not necessarily heading to a pub. With all the travelling coming up, this boy needs to save.

Speaking of trips, I recently went to Portland and to keep this part short I’ll say this. After an awesome hike, getting your balls tickled by a stripper’s vibrator is an awesome night cap. Portland is definitely an awesome place to get fat, meet genuinely nice people and try out some delicious beer.

Now I’m looking forward to Victoria, over time, learning to love, learning time management and seeing how far I can push everything before it cracks. There are so many other things are on my mind but I can’t think of them now. So for now, courage.
Oh first dragon boat race next SUnday. Listening to a lot of Slipknot beforehand

Words of wisdom, if you have someone in your life that can be honest with themselves, everything becomes so much easier
Monday, March 10th, 2014
12:17 am
Strictly for XX Chromosomes
At last some peace and quiet after a fairly hectic week. It began with locking down a new apartment to move into in April and is now ending with a documentary about women in the work place. It was international women’s week , which has got me thinking about the women in my life and the rainbow of attitudes, beliefs and habits I’ve come across.

I guess the first women in life would be my mother and sisters. Ghanaian society is fairly matriarchal so women have a lot of sass and their not afraid to scold a grown ass man in front of e’erbody. I grew up walking into every argument knowing that I would never win. My mom being over protective would yell a lot, mostly over the phone because I wasn’t home on time. My sister Aisha  tried her best to teach me how to clean up after myself and not to be a selfish brat. I’m sure it rubbed off a lil. I always had an interesting relationship  with my oldest sister Amina. She was my second mother since there was a ten year age gap and back home you’re never too young to take care of younger siblings. She spent a lot of time at boarding school, so I never really “grew up” with her in Ghana. She never really held back when it came to discipline which she got from my mom. But I still love her because she raised myself and Aisha without any real thanks apart from the fact that we didn’t become crack heads, yet.

I spent my entire high school single so my first real relationship came after college. My first girlfriend’s personality reminded me a lot of my sister, not like I have some sisterly Oedipus complex.  It  just made it really easy to get advice when I messed up. Neither of them tolerated bullshit, which is funny because bs is my middle name. I’ve always been attracted to strong willed women from seeing the strength of my family members and how they got shit done.  I tend to get easily side tracked so it’s always nice to have someone keep you on track. . One thing I will give to my first girlfriend is that she taught me to was how to be comfortable being naked around your room. Before that, I would always cover up unless I was in the bathroom.  It lead to  being more comfortable with my body (for the most part) and eventually to the exhibition of my body.

Having a lot of close female friends has been an awesome blessing. Seeing how they reciprocate with their partners really gives me hope for the world.  I’ve come to learn that sarcasm is not a means of communication.  On the other hand I’ve seen how easily people can manipulate each other to feel wanted.  The dark places a soul could go for attention and the cell phone minutes one could rack up even though their suppose to be chilling with their boys.  The ironic part about having a lot of lady friend is coming off gay to some people, which happened this weekend.  I laughed and I would love to keep it going but I do like the lady folk and I wouldn’t want to cock block myself.

I love my mind opening moments when I’m talking with my girls. The sacrifices to wear heals, the fears of violence, their expectations of man… I’ve never altered my behavior but I’ve always headed all their stories because it never fails when the same thing happens to me. It goes a long way to just listen, especially when you have a short attention span.  I love when simple gestures explode someone’s world.  I hope to never lose the sincerity in my motives because my favorite thing is to see someone smile. But sometimes, age, life and wasted time kills my mojo to try anything. But the last week of birthdays has giving me hope though there are still many gestures that are a work in progress.

 So on a really tired note. Ladies, you all brighten my day and I can’t wait to do that pair boding that’s all the hype.
Monday, February 10th, 2014
8:51 pm
Started from the bottom now we're back
    After  dipping into the beautiful fountain that was South East Asia, we are finally home. With all the jokes going into it, Chan and Shawn and I managed to keep our heads and not get sick of each other. Our anthem for most of the trip was “Started from the bottom” and everyday started a little differently. Some days would started at 7 am cuz we crashed early in a sleepy town on Cebu Island. Some days started in the afternoon, exhausted after riding  thirteen plus hours going through breath taking Taroko Gorge. I think the scenic views helped to get up those mornings . When you have the promise of adventures off the beaten path in foreign lands, motivation was pretty easy to find.

          Compared to my trip through Europe, we had a lot more interaction with people at our hostels. Since we were only a crew of three instead of eight, we would easily make friends in the bigger dorm rooms. It helped when we didn’t have any clear of our plans and we wanted to find something interesting to do. I was really surprised about the amount of young  hostel managers we ran into. They were really helpful, some of them really going out of their way to help us out with whatever we needed.  Some hostels slept better than others but over all they always felt like home since we usually stayed at least two days.  When we did only book for single days, it was pretty easy to find a second hostel if we couldn’t extend our stay.
          My favourite part of this trip was the simple moments of outdoor climbing/hiking.  My first opportunity was some trees around Owen’s families’ place in the Philippines. Something about being perched in the trees while traffic and pedestrians passed me by, like being a ninja. I also like that it’s a work out that gets you thinking. So many options for paths you have take to get to the ultimate reward. Like the pass through the canopy of butterflies while we were climbing up some waterfalls near Kenting.   After some intense climbing, we reached a clearing that was loaded with butterflies. It felt like the scene in Disney’s Tarzan, when he brings Jane through the forest and they’re surrounded by birds. Instead it was butterflies and I got to skinny dipping in a waterfall and flash Shawn afterwards.

            When we were up north in the Banaue Rice Terrace, a traveler mentioned that we’d get tired of the waterfalls. I’m happy that he was wrong. They all had a different a way of getting to them, some involving tumbles off scooters.  On the same trip, a lady boy checking myself and Alex out while we changed into our swim suits. Still, the best was the Double Rainbow water fall our friend Carletta brought us to in Oslob. Even though we missed out on seeing the whale sharks, it was easily forgotten when we saw the amazingly clear waters and the slow motion videos we recorded.

            It’s always interesting that no matter how much footage you take of a trip, nothing can bring you back to the moment.  You can’t feel all the ocean waves accidentally knocking you over when you weren’t paying attention.  Still, we can take amazing panoramas and videos of yourself scootering through unorganized traffic to remind you why you should come back. It also reminds me of all the green space available to us in Vancouver so I hope random bike trails will happen.
Well as regular life slowly slips into my veins, I’m looking forward to adventures in 2014. I’m not sure how I’ve grown during the trip but I know I’ve learned to let a lot of things go. I hope I’ve learned to go with the flow when things don’t go as planned.  And also to try not to do much. Year of the horse….hmm..maybe turtle might be better.
Thursday, January 2nd, 2014
3:58 am
Hong Kong oh snap

Well its 3:46 am in the morning and I'm watching some hockey. Nice bit of quite time on New Years day. Hong Kong has been pretty damn sweet. The city is pretty as f*ck but what's been awesome has been the hospitality of my friends and their family. Both Miss Chan and Wendy and her husband Lawrence have been super accommodating and entertaining.




Just found out that the theme for my sister's wedding is lavender which totally makes me happy. I'm flying out to Taiwan in a few days so hope to pick up a local porn mag before I roll. Its what Jay Onrait would want. Seen a lot of news stands with nothing but porn mags featured so I'm sure its a sign.


Ps Happy new years biiitches and loved ones

Current Mood: happy
Saturday, December 14th, 2013
11:28 pm
Philippines thus far

First off, this is in honor of the first post I was writing that somehow got wiped. RIP. The first week in the Philippines has been pretty awesome. Coming into to this trip, we left everything pretty open. The only thing we knew were the destinations and that at some point Shawn, Chan, Alex, Caro and I are gonna have an orgy.


Our first stop was Manila, where we were greeted at the airport by some cabbies that wanted to rip us off by charging 1900 pesos. But that didn't phase us since we grabbed an affordable 300 peso cab. We felt even more at home because the first two songs on the radio were Ironic by Alanis Morrisette and Incentive by Jan Arden. Hurray Canadian 90s pop. We arrived at Our Melting Pot hostel, which was on the fourth floor of a building in the business/tourist part of Manila in Makati.  We took a long ass nap after fun adventures trying to find local mini SIM cards for our phones.


We made plans to meet up with Oliver,  Owen's brother and his boss later in the evening. By that point, we met our roommate Graham, a cool British dude who had also just arrived in the Phil's. So after dinner, our merry group went out to check out their "strip clubs" which was more like a harem. When you walked into the dimly lit room, there were girls on the dance floor and some just sitting around. it wasn't really eventful but definitely the most expensive activity on this trip. Around that time Carol and Alex arrived, so we went to meet them at the hostel. We were informed at hostel that there was a reggae party going on close by, so after a short cab ride, we were there.


The show was sooooo dope. It was hosted at a warehouse but it had no ceiling,  making for a very wet dance floor from showers earlier. The booze was so cheap and the band was banging. They played mostly covers of Sublime, Marley and many other ska bands. My favourite part was the grill that served just about every part of the chicken you can think of. Chan fell in love with chicken intestine.  We danced the night away till 3 or 4 and eventually cabbed home.


Day two started off pretty simple,  checking out the mall of Asia.  It wasn't anything special apart from being really f*n big. The indoor ice skating rink was a cool surprise. The highlight was leaving the mall and chilling on the boardwalk, staring at the sunlight reflecting off the ocean. We eventually grabbed some beers and spent the rest of the afternoon drinking.


During our conversations someone brought up cock fighting. So that became our mission that evening. We took a cab to a cock fighting derby but the entrance fee was 900 pesos, which was insane! So we decided to peace out, which lead to a 40 min walk through the rain back to the hostel. Our walk took us through some slummy areas which really remind me of Ghana. Or Midgar in FF7 after the plates fell according to Shawn,  nerds...It was pretty rough seeing families sleeping on the concrete. It was kinda weird to finally make it to our clean metropolitan area.


Third day was suppose to simple: fly from Manila to Tagbiliran City and check out the Chocolate hills. But the universe had other plans and decided not to process our ticket purchase. We only discovered this when we got to the airport. So after some rescheduling and many card games, we were on our way to Cebu City, which was already in our plans.


We landed in Cebu pretty late and within minutes of checking in, we were grabbing street meat and beers with some guys from the hostel. Man was the booze cheap, 65 pesos for a litre of beer which is a lil over a dollar Canadian. We found out the three dudes, Aussie, American and French (I think) met while volunteering in Taklaban.  The beers flowed and eventually Aussie suggested that we go clubbing at a place  called Mango. Chan decided to hit the sack early since he downed 2 litres of beer in an hour plus he was up earlier than the rest of us that day.


Mangos was pretty bananas. Cheap cover which got you a free drink and a packed dance floor. Aussie was very generous with handing out beers, even when I didn't need anymore. Actually everyone was handing me drinks which just gave me more fuel to dance with cutest Japanese girl, Kumi. She had an ass and she could dance which made her all the finer. She rolled with a decent size crew which included her sister and a girly boy, who may have not been with them. It made for a fun guessing game but we definitely confirmed she was a girly boy. The night was pretty much perfect apart from a small incedent when Shawn thought he lost his cellphone but he forgot that I had borrowed it


The morning was spent enjoying a blunt to help get over the hang over. The weed was supplied by Joanne, a girl from Hong Kong who definitely has consumed more drugs than I ever will. But now she was trying to just stick with weed.


The afternoon was spent taking a to bus Maulbaul because it was something to check that was close. our earlier plan was to go to Oslob but it seemed too far for a day trip. It was a great decision. My favourite part of hostelling is meeting new people. That night we had the honor of meeting our Filipino angel, Carletta. She was an early thirties single mom that was spending the next year travelling around. We found out later, she had misdiagnosed with cancer but the scare was enough to make her sell her car and house and discover the world. She convinced us to go snorkeling with her the next morning which sounded awesome.


Our awesome new friend was able to get us a deal where we got dive in two spots for the price of one dive. By this point, Shawn was starting to get sick. But the promise of seeing turtles got him onboard. The catamaran ride to the dive spot was hella fun, seeing into the water and hanging over the edge. Snorkelling was salty as all hell but man was it worth it. The crazy colors of fish, the coral formations and the turtles! It was like they were flying underwater. I remember going off by myself at one point and seeing something coming at me in the distance. After a brief panic attack, I realized it was a turtle and I was soooo happy. I just followed until I lost track of it around some coral, sea ninjas!


Ill stop this here for now. More thoughts to come.


Thursday, December 12th, 2013
10:08 pm

Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
1:01 am
Stage Lighhts
  The last couple of weeks have been quite a blur with Thanksgiving, Chan’s and Lindsay’s  burfday and Halloween planning taking up most of my time.  It’s felt like I’ve been performing on a literal and metaphoric stage for the last while. I think it all began when I had the opportunity to check out two burlesque shows on consecutive evenings. It wasn’t planned out but it was pretty awesome.  Some friends of mine were performing at the first show as part of a student case. About half way through, I felt my friends tapping me on my shoulder, egging me on to get on stage. When I got on stage, I found out that it was for a strip tease contest for free burlesque lessons. I didn’t win but afterwards I had some of the girls telling me that I should try some boylesque.  I thought it would be a hoot. I went up on stage at the second show but this time it was just a trivia question for a free drink which I gave to Lindsay, since it was her burfday. I also belted out one of my most emotional renditions of I don’t wanna miss a thing later that night because it was Lindsay’s burfday.

  My next stage performance was the Double Halloween massacre  at the Affolter’s and my buddy Bills. Now based on the accidental suggestion of Gage while he was trying to guess my Halloween costume, I went dressed as Nicki Manaj. I enlisted the help of my friend Lynn, to help with the makeup. It felt like it took forever, since I’m a guy and this is not normal for us. Near the end of the make up session, Lynn’s daughter  Celeste, offered me her fake glittery eyelashes. It was the perfect accent for the costume. Most of the costume was purchased at Sirens, $3 for tights, $6 for tights.

  The Affolter pad was three floors, but we only used the top one with the patio. There was a lot of people when I got there and I’m pretty sure the numbers had tripled later into the night.  Shortly after getting there, I remember seeing  someone carry a box of what looked like trophies but I was too inebriated to notice it’s importance. Throughout the party I saw people filling out ballots for the costume contest, but once again I was too stoned to pay  attention.  I remember trying to fill one out and I just wanted to write “Everybody” is the winner. I had some people coming up to telling me that  they voted me as sexiest costume or scariest, sometimes both. And when it came time to pick the winners, I grabbed sexiest  costume. It was the first time a guy had won it in the ten year history of the party. I got a sweet engraved trophy, a gift certificate for a movie and a dvd of a fire place since I was so hot. There were soo many amazing people at the party that I hope they eventually find me on the internet as they promised.

  We finally made it to Bill’s party around 2 am after hearing that Chan had to drive someone to the hospital after hitting their head somehow. When we got there, the three floor party was still going with a dj spinning some records. Chan was found in the basement still partying since the injured person had a brother who stayed with them. It was funny because when I got there, I had a huge, possibly Australian guy interrogating me about who I knew there. He calmed down after I started pointing out people in the crowd and we had a nice chat about fashion. I was starting to like my tights even though they were too crazy for my regular style. He just said - you have to do it twice around your friends because the first time they would hate it but second time it’d switch to “that’s aight.” It was a pretty good point so I’ll probably be rocking them at some outing next summer.

  You often hear about artist taking drugs to get on stage and I usually don’t care, as long as they can perform. During Chan’s Halloween party the following weekend, I decided to try some medical grade weed cookies, 2.5 grams in one cookie. I also decided to go through 3 different costumes in one night. The first was a Tyler Perry style, old lady called Big Booty Lucy. I wore the costume until 9 oclock, when I upgraded into Nicki Manaj 2.0. This time around Rochelle helped with the make up and I added a multi-coloured tutu and pink wig to the costume. Hurray for half price sales! The eyelashes were definitely heavier this time around so it hurt quite a bit ; sacrifices! I definitely got groped a lot this time around since I knew more people at the party.  And yes ladies, I know a fraction of what you go through now. But it was all in good fun, as it should be for a guy in drag.

  The third and final costume was Miley Cyrus which I changed into around 11. I put the  most effort into this costume since I sewed  the design on the front of the shirt. It turned out  pretty well but I definitely should have danced more in the costume to Miley’s songs. For the first time at a party, I spent time talking to people as oppose to dancing. Some conservations went well, some turned into me getting into my own head about how people perceived all this outward flamboyance. I remember at one point, I thought my friend was trying to hook me up with their friends’ boyfriend.  There was some stuff I blurted and instantly felt bad about . It was crazyl because everything would go silent around the situation, like bullet time. I’d realize what I said, replay it in my head then feel bad.  Though it was a great ride perfectly timed out to the hights and lulls of the party, the over thinking was a bit more than I liked. The good part was that the “awkward” moments would happen and then something else would catch my attention.  So the self doubt would pass in a flash. I am very comfortable with myself and I try not to be a dick. Luckily, no one really mentioned that I was out of control. Regardless, I’m never taking medical grade weed at house party ever again. It’s better saved for more intimate hang outs.

  The last week has been focused on my trip through South East Asia.  The recent typhoons through the area has us reconsidering going to the Philippines. I’ve been in touch with my buddy Owen’s brother since he lives down there so I’m waiting for some information to proceed. We also have to hope that we can switch our tickets because of the state of emergency in the Phillipines. And finally pick a new destination that would please all three of us. It’s going to be an interesting next couple of weeks.
Shout outs to Gary on his new daughter Sophia. Liz who should be having Squisy sometime soon and John and Ricky on their future baby. And Mark and Dino’s engagement . And my nephew Yow’ s Burfday, hopefully you’ll outgrow your tantrums soon. 
Sunday, September 29th, 2013
11:47 pm
crunch time freestyle

Written to the beat of Beat don't kill my vibe by Kendrik Lamar

I am smoker. That's probably gonna smoke again.


Work my ass off, to pay a couple grand


Man I like to be alone. Bitch don't kill my vibe         
I can see the finish  line for 2 weeks away. I got my nose leaking for most of today.
Bitch don't kill my drive

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
6:12 pm
Get back to Twerk! The return of SMDSHTM!

First and for most Daft Punk’s: Random Access Memories is becoming one of my favorite late night albums. It just captures the ride through the twilight hours in an amazing mix of organic and synthesized instrumentals. I felt this had to be stated before we got into the meat of things. The return of Stuff My Dad Should Have Taught Me Quatro: Getting to Twerk aka Work

As I’ve mentioned, my parents are viciously hard workers. Even in their sixties, both of them cannot stop the hustle. My mom still works double shifts back home since it’s herself in the house now. My parents have been drilling into our heads to always work hard and make the moneys. Having money would lead to financial responsibility which would guarantee success in life. Seeing their work ethic and constant chastisement when I would buy frivolous things has ensured I that don’t go on crazy antique furniture shopping sprees.

My first job was with my sister Aisha delivering flyers. My sister was also a hustler who has been working since the age of 15 with her first job at Flyer Force. She asked me if I could give her a hand and split the proceeds. It was a pretty even split since I carried my own weight. I think we made around $250 every two weeks, more around the holidays. I remember the freezing cold evenings running around the Alta Vista and Heron area. Delivering during the 1998 Ice Storm was treacherous and beautiful. The streets were strewn with toppled trees blanketed in ice and my boots had very little grip. I’d be literally fighting to get back up incline driveways . Those memories are still vivid when I go through the old hood and it’s always a great part of my life I got to spend with my sister.

The duties included assembling the flyers the night before, where we developed an awesome system to pack them. Whenever we could we would double team, one person assembling, the other passing the flyers. All of this being done in the basement while watching tv. Then we would pack them in a hockey bag for my sister and a back pack for me. We would then walk roughly two kilometers to our area and split up to our designated route to maximize efficiency. It was a work of art, criss crossing houses, trying to make sure that we didn’t damage the flyers as we slid them into mailboxes and slots. One thing this job taught me was the importance of preparation and that you had no excuse for not working at a young age.

My next, and probably most exciting job, was at Farm Boy, which is now the Market Fresh at Blue Heron Mall on Bank Street. This job was a blast because it was me and a bunch of people from my high school. Matt Harper, Jason Wilson, Wayne Henry, Olivier, and Andrea Salvatore all made their rounds while I was there. It was remarkable that they gave us responsibility of running the meat department because we broke most of the rules. We cooked bacon on the seran wrap melter, used the meat chunks as punching bags. My final straw came when I punched a hole in the wall, but it was for a good reason. There was a rumor circling about one of the girls so boys made fun of her incessantly. So one day I decided to show her to punch properly, assuming that she would learn to fight back. Well in my demonstration of proper form, I was little too enthusiastic and punched a hole in the wall. Needlessly to say, they weren’t happy. Also, we didn’t clean up well in when we closed and everyone knows that happens to meat if you leave it out. I took firing well and made sure to liberate some meats on my last night. I’m not proud of myself for any of this, In fact, this was pretty much everything my parents told me not to do at work.

My following and more honest posting was at the Cantebury Community Center. I started off as volunteer doing my mandatory 40 hours before graduating high school. They decided to put me on the pay roll after my hours were done. That job was awesome because it was my friends Roger and Mark, and some other high school students watching kids for an after school program. The only “hard” part was trying to find simple activities that could entertain your groups. I remember there being three groups, 3-7,8-11, 10-13, I think. We would rotate between the age groups but I remember Roger working with the toddlers because he had a lot of siblings around that age. The kids were mostly well behaved but there were some with serious angerl issues. We were warned about them but there was nothing that could prepare you for a tantrum. We would just get our boss Maggie and she’d have to take the kid out of the activities. The best/worst moments would be the scwabbles with the toddlers. They would start argureing, one would start crying, then the other would too and then Mark and I would start laughing. The other counselors thought we were horrible but they couldn’t help laughing because we'd be giggling so hard. It was just funny because the kids would be cool a few minutes later

I had to get my first background check to get this job which wasn't too exciting. But what was exciting was meeting my younger, female self, Karima. She started volunteering around the time I got hired and from the start we just clicked. It went something like this. One day it her responsibility to mop and for some reason I was supervising her. She was horrible and I let her know; I’m pretty sure I finished her job. But we were both laughing so hard. And from that moments we’ve been spiritual twins. Even after she moved to Toronto, we stayed in contact, clicking up whenever either of us would visit the other respective city. There’s just something about our energy and randomness that, has never changed. I can’t will till we are old farts.

My next and final job before my animation career was working at the Clubhouse, a sports apparel store in the Rideau Center. I heard about the job through my sister who was working at the Sears inside the mall. She knew a guy, Komi, that was working at the Clubhouse, which at the time was a kiosk. I was desperately looking for work and conveniently that day the boss was in so I got meet him and hand in my resume. I was called for an interview a few weeks later, all the way in the suburbs of Kanata. I remember talking to my boss Chris a few years after I was highered about why he chose me. Apparently, during my interview, I just came off as a person who was really passionate and loyal t to his friends. I generally answered all his questions with a personal story which I guess humanized me. I didn’t come off like all the kids that wanted my job because of the fitted baseball caps. Those things were hotter the sun back then. Also, having previous work experience at a community center helped too apparently.

I’ve never been a person who prepares for job interviews, which probably isn’t the greatest. But for some reason, it hasn’t screwed me over. After hearing that a friend got well paying, “sophicated jobs” after talking comics for 80% of the interview, I think I go about it pretty well. I just try to let them know that I’m a dedicated and working person. Even though I was fiending for a job at the time, I never came across as desperate during the interview.

The perks of that job was that, being downtown, I would run into everyone, from family, to friends to random people I never liked in high school. I could also meet up easily if we were going out on a weekend. The down side was people shop lifting, which became a lil harder when weactually got a store location inside the mall but there was always the opportunity. For the most part, I worked alone, with maybe 2-3 hour overlap with my manager or coworker. Fun times were playing phone tag with my buddy Mark and my coworker Keith at the Kanata store on slow Sundays. Also, locking myself out of the store and making my manager come down to get me. I’ve had dreams where I’m working there again and they don’t feel too horrible, just the paranoia of theft!

Not going to dabble into my animation career too much cuz it’s late and there’s too much to cover. What I will say is that I applied to animation on the recommendation of my art teacher Mr. Ketcherson. I was planning on taking a year off to work and probably travel after high school but when it came time to apply my parents had other plans, There was no way they would let me putt off going to post secondary school. Mr. Ketcherson suggested that I apply to Graphic Design and Animation at Algonquin College in Ottawa. The Graphic Design portfolio was too hard so I just went with animation. I applied at a few other school but since they were all at least 3 times more, Algonquin was my choice when I got in. Animation was a beast. No social life, all nighters, classic memories and a big fat diploma in Digital Animation in the end.

Animation is still teaching me a lot of stuff about myself and my art. What I will say is that I have learned that I work better with a deadline. If I suck atsomething, with instruction, I will greatly improve. Lifedrawing is critical. You really get what you put in, this works for sex too. And finally, asking me not to be creative is like asking me to stop breathing. It would be really hard to get me to sit at a 9-5 job and not get fired for doobling or sexual harassment.

SHout outs to Mark for getting engaged to DInora. Here's hoping I don't need to buy another suit :)

Current Mood: rushed
Monday, September 2nd, 2013
11:59 pm
Bumbershoots and sneaks
Well I just spent a packed weekend in Seattle seeing Kendrik Lamar and some other artists at the Bumbershoot Arts festival. The evening of the first night allowed me some time to roam around since Shawn was passed out hard. Tried waking him up twice but not getting much sleep the night before would do that. The clubbing was totally worth it though! But I digress.

Saturday night started off pretty tame, I wasn't too tired even after a day of concert going so I decided to step out. I walked down the streets, a boy with a Heinekenin hand. I found a nice park filled with homeless people where I gave the can to someone who would enjoy it. I continued on to 1st Avenue which was peppered with people leaving from various Penny Arcade Expo events, their lanyards made it easy to tell. I walked around secretly hoping to run into something fun and I found it a few blocks away from my apartment.

I was ready to call it in and check if Shawn was up, when I saw what looked like an art show. Turns out they were just wrapping up so the guy at the door let me in. The pieces at the show were amazing. They were all video game themed and ranged in style. It was REALLY hard to pick just one piece to buy but one stood out above them all. I just loved this Super Mario piece; colours and everything just clicked. After putting up earlier it today in my room it inspired me to do some writing so here goes. For lack of a better title, Clear Answers: A piece about advice, self reliance and Super Mario


When the answers escape me, maybe I’ll find it somewhere in my dreams
As I start everyday with a brand new scheme, sweating
Promising that every next step will be different from the last
Working with a frenzy so fierce in Cupids arrow couldn’t pierce me
Try to staple my feet to the ground and see how many laps I finish
Still sweating, take the shrooms  to drop a slow motion filter so many I could catch my thoughts before they fly
Is it numb, is it over thinking, is it some sort of virus protection
If trepidation leads to a subtle dose of fear, then rain check it because I’m staying in
I’ll be somewhere underground by the time you find me and even then I might be predisposed
I might be taking over the world; I might be stashing my gold coins
When Super humans are preoccupied, can you put salvation on hold?
Can you pray to your own white clouds and bring heaven down a little closer?
Because I’d rather pay you the compliment rather than build myself a monument
That is to say I’d rather see you shine, with all your faculties and frailties
My feet are blistered because I’m a whirlwind, my heart is hardened because it is a hammer
And my sight is beyond reach that I struggle to keep up
Like someone lost in his dreams, seeing the waking world in short strobes
Images blurred and smashed so vividly that I need blinders
So when I dream tonight, I hope my home is in a crystal castle
So that the answer can see me from all sides

PS when you don't have your heart set on something, it is really easy to sneak into conventions
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
11:26 pm
Cold steel and mad love
Yey getting to write.  Let's see what I can squeeze out in a short amount of time. Well right now I'm on the skytrain with my bike, so let's start with that. My bike has become my nexus of joy, my chariot of glee and my late night companion through the streets on Vancouver.

I bought my bike from Sportschek for $149 before taxes. It came with a one year warranty which I used to fix it after my wipeout but more about it later. For an unassuming mountain bike, it's taken me far. Did an epic trip to Victoria with it and I communite to work at least twice week. The fact that its a mountain bike really helps for random rocky terrain that street bikes have trouble with. That came up quite a bit  on our ride through Victoria, the most scenenic trip ever.

Mountain on mountains, long stretches of coastline, spesky hills and cold ass rain, the blueprint of the trip. It was a huge undertaking but I'm so glad Linds, Justin and Chan were there for it. Terrain and weather changed at least every thirty mintues. I was glad that it was a lil chilly because we didn't sweat so much.The thing that sucked was that the gear shift would jam when climbing hills which almost made Chan run into me a few times, but she got through it. The relatively light weight construction helped in that. I usually don't struggle with hills too much but that could be because of the never ending stream of hills on our ride through majestic countryside.

My favourite bit of "me time" has become full moon bike rides from work. I'm not sure why but the moon just looks bigger out here. Its immense glow is the perfect companion illuminating the majesty of the moutains and sky liine.  It's seriously romantic and you can't help falling in love with her. The bike paths are really well lit so I never have any sense of danger and sometimes, if you're lucky, you catch something special. I saw a fox in passing a few weeks ago, then last week, I saw it again. This time around, I decided to dismount and attempted to commune with it. The grey fox didn't run away initially, it even seemed intrigued. We spent what felt like forever studying eachother until it eventually I got too close and it trotted off. Actual time lasped was probably 3 minutes.

It's been an awesome journey with my bike and I hope it goes for at least one more year. Hoping to pick up a hybrid down the line which would increase my speed by a lot. Everything in life is pretty good. Trying to balance alot of things at once and as always focusing on one thing means that I'm gonna miss out on something else.But that's just part of life :)

Oh wipeout. SO tried to avoid a lady while biking eventhough we could have shared the side way. Wheel snagged, pulled a Superman, landed on my forarms and knees. It hurt but was able to walk away and continue biking to work. LIKE A BOSS!
Monday, August 19th, 2013
12:39 am
A limerick in less than 10 mins (hopefully)
ALways running around i will attempt fit in everything in my head
I'm drawing a blank, am I dead?
The hills are a live with the sounds of summer
Though a lot of overtime has been quite the bummer
Lucid nights to run the streets louder
I'm sure my parents couldn't be any more prouder
Still trying to take love from be a word to something more tangeable
But with everything going on, I try to pretend that it's not manageable
We all know the answer, when the purity of it all is reflected in another
But every spark seems so fleeting, so it's pretty easy to smother
So now I plunge into individual pursuits, hoping that it might bear fruit
Of something of SOMETHING
it's like a cliff I can't see over, and over and over
It's hard to focus when the waves are crashing
I feel like a race horse, always dashing
I'm sure I need to the blinders to get me to the end
I sweet reminder that the word is still my friend :)
Monday, July 22nd, 2013
11:25 pm
When I think about you all, I'm probably touching myself
 As I sit here chasing the perpetual sunset outside my plane window, I try to recall as much of my trip to Ottawa. Well it all began with my sister picking me up from the airport and somewhere along the line it ended with watching the sunrise and good times with family and friends.  There were a lot of surprises, so many new faces and an abundance of energy that I’ll attribute to sleeping in and legal and illegal substances.

I think Josh summed it up well when he pointed out that it was like I never left. From landing on Gary's birthday party and watching Anderson Silva lose to discussing the finer points parenting and stripping with the Minority crew, it just went so smoothly. Visiting Mercury was such a treat since my operation manger Todd forced me to wear a visitor pass. I was so happy to see the old studio killing it. Also dropping by Jam Filled studios where all my sexy bitches work. By bitches I mean all the lovely people I wanna hump. I'm glad that the animation is a field where there really isn't a huge devide between a friend a co-worker or a lover. Courtney taught me that on our road trip to Toronto a few years back. I'm still trying to figure out why I owe her a quarter. I know it’s not the same reason why I owe Gage quarters. I'm sure it’s for something sexual aswell. :)

I really should have taken a picture of my odometer at the beginning of my trip. I think I only filled up once in the first week with most of the activities involved driving to Bluesfest and around the Ottawa South/Nepean area. I remember considering it a slow day when I went from to Barhaven, back home, to    Orleans then downtown for a hip hop show. I think being able to spend time with my sibling's in the morning while they prepped food for mom 's birthday made it less stressful. The Hamilton/Toronto raid with Josh was amazing. Loved doing some hardcour parcour with Karma and D’arce and yelling "Suck his D*ck" anytime I got out of the car and couples were around. I’m pretty sure I need to send Nat a cardboard cut-out of myself after the love that poured out of her eyes.  It was awesome discovering the board game bar and I learned that I can only stand trivia so long while blunted. If onIy I could remember all the random facts.

There were a lot of milestones I observed over my time, some important, some completely irrelevant. Seeing Karo pregnant and Miyuki and Mark having Selina was boss. Being there for Garnes' last night as a non-dad wasn't life changing but wicked. Got my first lap dance which was cool and once again showed how small my universe is. Turns out the stripper had been at the strip club near DHX, my first studio in Vancouver. Getting matching tattoos with Mark and Josh was emotionally nourishing and just badass. I got a flavored Beavertail with my cousins when they came down for my mom’s birthday celebration. I was immensely happy to see some friend come out. Had so much fun time went WAY too fast. I think for once I didn’t feel too out place because I rolled with just talking in English.
Well I'm landing in a few mins so shouts outs to random midday water fights at John's.  To Courtneys reaction to her present.  Dino materializing out of nowhere. To everyone I had lunch or dinner with, I hope I’m a few pounds heavier. To everyone I couldn't see, know that I was thinking of you when I touched myself, so pretty often.To bumpy plane rides that lead to writing the most passive last words ever. To my Mazda  for staying alive and to my niece for reminding me that when you realize that you're too short for the water slide and cry your heart out, everything is forgotten when the waves start again at the pool.
P.S Shout out to Sarala for leaving the GREATEST thank you for letting her stay at my place while I was gone.

Current Mood: Eye burning
Sunday, July 14th, 2013
3:39 am
New life and the Rukkus
On porch again. Right now Miyuki Garnes is in labor so soon we will welcome another soul into the universe.

Just got back from a shit show of a rap concert featuring Mark's buddy in Babblegoons and old school rapper R.A The Rugged man. I'm not going to go into much details, but all I know is that it ended in fists fights and a topless girls and mad rhymes. Alright fine here are some cliff notes.

After Babblegoons did an awesome, set R.A came on. Unfortunately for him, the dj couldn't  get his music to play. The Rugged man seemed to be a perfectionist so he just started railing into the DJ asking why he couldn't get it to play. Eventually he just switched his laptop for the DJ's, and they were able to get the show on the road. Though after a few songs, the songs started messing up and The Rugged Man went off again, this time even calling out the club's managers. Eventually the guys from Babblegoons clearly had enough and decided to stand up for the DJ. They got in R.A's face and people were shoved and fists were thrown. Eventually, security grabbed the Babblegoons offstage and show went on.

At some point we noticed a bit of a rukkus in front, which we soon realized was a girl flashing her boobs. Yup just in the middle of the show. Obviously she got pulled onstage and proceeded to take her top off completely. Rugged then grabbed her and they had an awkward dance on the floor and she continued the rest of the night topless. Needless to say, any time Rugged would be on the floor she would be close by. It was interesting to see her moshing and all the events that would occur while moshing topless.

Definitely an interesting cap, to a mostly laid back day chilling with family in the morning, lunch with Liz, back home, dinner with Shannon and Nick and Purna's bday....Hmmm....
Friday, July 12th, 2013
3:05 am
Its like driving standard

He finished a little short of an essay filled with all the subtle hints of how he felt


Leaving his sleeves half exposed so he could cover it up in a chuckle


Easier to pirouette away, the jester in his over sized shoes


Because its so easy to read the caution signs hanging above the door to the coffee shop away walk away


And the all familiar abrupt stop, like a seat belt digging in his chest. The violent heat then numbing sensation slowly creeping to fill its place


Stuck on the side, he just blends into the grey, slowly forgetting the color of her eyes. Stuck with an audience of one, he writes to none

Current Mood: accomplished
1:43 am
Somethings and musquito bites

Well Im sitting here on a recliner on the front porch of my sisters house and everything comes into perspective. Somethings in life don't make sense but sometimes it just works. Somethings just feel right. Most things in life are simpler than your mind twists  it to be. Embracing something you are shouldn't make it something you're scared to share. Distraction are so fun but destroy so much potential. I'm pretty sure if I were to be asked to sacrifice something right now, you'd need to cut my arm off before I understood.

I'm not sure  why I keep spreading the two of 2Chainz to my non hip hop friends. I guess his marketing is that good.

Relationships can change even when you're standing in front of someone else. Or you can be thousands of miles away and not miss a step

I wish I could capture the magic of the midnight hour in the daylight


Good music I shoulda jumped on earlier

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