I guess the first women in life would be my mother and sisters. Ghanaian society is fairly matriarchal so women have a lot of sass and their not afraid to scold a grown ass man in front of e’erbody. I grew up walking into every argument knowing that I would never win. My mom being over protective would yell a lot, mostly over the phone because I wasn’t home on time. My sister Aisha tried her best to teach me how to clean up after myself and not to be a selfish brat. I’m sure it rubbed off a lil. I always had an interesting relationship with my oldest sister Amina. She was my second mother since there was a ten year age gap and back home you’re never too young to take care of younger siblings. She spent a lot of time at boarding school, so I never really “grew up” with her in Ghana. She never really held back when it came to discipline which she got from my mom. But I still love her because she raised myself and Aisha without any real thanks apart from the fact that we didn’t become crack heads, yet.
I spent my entire high school single so my first real relationship came after college. My first girlfriend’s personality reminded me a lot of my sister, not like I have some sisterly Oedipus complex. It just made it really easy to get advice when I messed up. Neither of them tolerated bullshit, which is funny because bs is my middle name. I’ve always been attracted to strong willed women from seeing the strength of my family members and how they got shit done. I tend to get easily side tracked so it’s always nice to have someone keep you on track. . One thing I will give to my first girlfriend is that she taught me to was how to be comfortable being naked around your room. Before that, I would always cover up unless I was in the bathroom. It lead to being more comfortable with my body (for the most part) and eventually to the exhibition of my body.
Having a lot of close female friends has been an awesome blessing. Seeing how they reciprocate with their partners really gives me hope for the world. I’ve come to learn that sarcasm is not a means of communication. On the other hand I’ve seen how easily people can manipulate each other to feel wanted. The dark places a soul could go for attention and the cell phone minutes one could rack up even though their suppose to be chilling with their boys. The ironic part about having a lot of lady friend is coming off gay to some people, which happened this weekend. I laughed and I would love to keep it going but I do like the lady folk and I wouldn’t want to cock block myself.
I love my mind opening moments when I’m talking with my girls. The sacrifices to wear heals, the fears of violence, their expectations of man… I’ve never altered my behavior but I’ve always headed all their stories because it never fails when the same thing happens to me. It goes a long way to just listen, especially when you have a short attention span. I love when simple gestures explode someone’s world. I hope to never lose the sincerity in my motives because my favorite thing is to see someone smile. But sometimes, age, life and wasted time kills my mojo to try anything. But the last week of birthdays has giving me hope though there are still many gestures that are a work in progress.
So on a really tired note. Ladies, you all brighten my day and I can’t wait to do that pair boding that’s all the hype.